Just because we lived through Christmas with the family, doesn't mean it's over. Here are a few gems to keep us dreading next year. Actual quotes from Christmas:
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"This was your idea of a gift? Next time, think harder."
"If your kid doesn't settle down? I'm telling her there is no Santa."
"Who runs out of gin on Christmas Eve? Get your ass down to Liquor Barn and hook us up."
"If I ate like this everyday? I'd be skinny as hell."
"I told him to leave the gun in the car."
"Why is that box moving? You didn't get me anything that has to be fed, did you?"
"No Mom, we didn't forget it's Jesus's birthday. But we couldn't figure out what to give him."
"Wait, isn't that the same sweater I gave you last year? Why are you giving that to your brother?"
"Twelve Days of Christmas my ass. More like Twelve Months building up to certain doom."
"No I did not say I wanted a scale for Christmas."
"There's no receipt because I didn't buy it. It just followed me out of the store."
"Who's got the damn remote?"
"Whoever told you its the thought that counts was completely full of shit."
"Where did you put Grandma?"
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Now excuse us while we go nurse our Christmas hangovers.
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