ZoeyShea

7 Deadly Words to Avoid on Twitter

In light of Halloween and the apparent, sudden spawn of carazies coming out of the wood work on Twitter? We thought it would be appropriate to share vital information with you all. Lucky ducks. 

We've seen our fair share of the *People of Wal-Mart Types*, and they all resemble Happy Meals. Without the toy. This information we are about to share are the tid-bits everyone else is scared of sharing.  Sort of like  TLC  (The Learning Channel) telling everyone pregnancy is like a beautiful boat ride, failing to add *IN A HURRICANE*  on their (unreal) reality shows. 

Follow along tweeps!! This list :: 7 Deadly Words to Avoid on Twitter :: Will change your life. 

:: Deadly Word #1:: Britney Spears ::

She may be the Queen of Pop in real life, but on Twitter?  She's not represented so well.  Once you try to name drop her as you lie about being her long lost relative? Talk about Baby, Hit Me One More Time. She'll hit you with her avatar and you'll never wanna spin her records again, that's a promise.  Ms. Spears has haters on Twitter, and if you include her name in a tweet? You'll get a visit from the porno fairy.  Do yourself a favor. Avoid Britney all together.

:: Deadly Word #2 :: Porn ::

The word? Happens.  But you wanna leave it out of that sweet little tweet stream of yours.  You'll become very popular...In the *dirty birdy* kinda way. AVOID.

:: Deadly Word #3 :: GURU ::

You can try and describe yourself as this...IF you want to be laughed at.  Especially when Twitter is in the same sentence. Someone is going to laugh at you, and remember back to Boy Scouts? It only takes a spark to get a FIYAH going!!!  Say it with us *You sound like an idiot*.

:: Deadly Word #4 :: hi ::

Yes, We realize it wasn't capitalized.  We did this on PURPOSE.  All fuh-reaks usually tweet to you outta the blue *hi* and once you try to be nice and return the favor? They start loving up all ovah your page and then you will have to pull out the twittermace to get rid on them.  They are not trying to be nice...they are STALKING you!!!

:: Deadly Word #5 :: AlyssaMilano ::

Unless you eat dinner with her? Don't try to use her name as a *status gainer* on Twitter. You look DESPERATE. If she does tweet you - just remember she's human and probably isn't into you. You are still a ROCKSTAH. 

:: Deadly Word #6 :: Follow ::

When a tweep tweets you *FOLLOW* just for Shizzle and Giggle? Throw them into the blocked category.  They need carazy meds, forgot to take them, or have zero patience.  None of which bode well with us.

:: Deadly Word #7 :: The F Word ::

We aren't talking Fork or Finger either. This will land you on MOST tweeps chop BLOCK faster then being a Turkey on Gobble Gobble Day. Twitter is a gentle land. DON'T CUSS and expect people to still like you.

Avoiding these 7 simple words will help tweeps who like you, love you, and spread you around to tolerate you.  Oh, and if Britney starts following you? Mega turn off to people looking at your followers.  Even if you do LIKE the sick , nasty and perverse photo? MOVE ON or go in 3-D mode.  #justsayin.

Leave My Tweets Alone :: Tweetjackin Should Be a Crime

When zoeyshea.com launched on August 31st, 2009, we wondered if people would get it. Would they come to our website, submit their stories,  or ask for advice so we could help them? Didn't take long.  Nope.

Within minutes of the site launch, we had a victimized lad desribing the horror of getting #tweetjacked on the social networking site- Twitter.com Poor fella!  Since we don't mention names here and we are kinda responsible for the latest game we happily refer to as #tweetjackin - we felt it reasonable to address his issue. 

First:  *hands gold star to dude victimized* To answer the question properly we must look into the realms of darkness and come to terms with the site in question.  In the wild, bears rely on water sources for hydration and food. Yes, food. *Think salmon.*  Bears see a yummy, tasty salmon swimming up stream trying to get to the sacred ground of happy, hottie chicks waiting to spawn...but then?  GULP! No more salmon. Why?  The answer to this lies in the basic precept of, "yummy, yummy to my tummy."  Yeah- we might be carazy. 

But the moral of the story is simple.  Dude- you must be famous. Pure. Simple. Famous. #tweetjackin is not meant to cause mental anquish.  It's meant as a "mixer" of sorts.  And you sir?  Must be a pretty tasty salmon in the stream. Pickin up what we're putting down?!?   It's not your fault you rock! Or, that others want to be like you. Heck- it could be a whole lot worse. 

Don't let those #tweetjackin insulters get you down. They are just helpin you gain fame. *This post is brought to you via our website. Most notably because this abused fella keeps getting his nerves grinded by several incessant RT and #tweetjackin tendancies from other tweeps. 

Chillax! Could be worse. You? Could be called a Tool.